International Women Day Offer

Suck a Cock!

Thank you so kindly for your interest in our limited time promotion giving you the privilege to suck our cocks, and to enjoy our high quality (primarily white) warrior seeds, to celebrate International Women Day.

Below are the terms and conditions of this exceptional offer:

1. You must be of the human species. The offer does not apply to other species, including but not limited to Femininus horribilis spp. (more commonly known as land whales)

2. You must be a biological female. At the risk of sounding “transphobic”, if we want head from a dude, we’ll get the real thing (and a much, much higher quality and better blow job).

3. You must not have hair on your pits, vagina, legs, or face. This is your day celebrating being a woman, so you should look like one.

4. You must not smell like a yeti from California, or like you haven’t washed your pussy in over 3 months. We know you are very proud of your vagina, but letting it rot does not make any statement really.

5. You must commit to not use your teeth, to making better use of your tongue, and to not provide a hollow blow. Hollow blows are an epidemic among women these days, and International Women Day should be seen as an opportunity to improve an essential skill for any woman.

6. You must swallow. Seeds belong in a hole and as you do not want to waste whatever comes out of you during your periods (actually some blood, as well as cervical mucus, vaginal secretions, and endometrial tissue), we are pretty sure you don’t want to waste high quality seeds either.

7. Sorry, only one load per woman.

8. We understand that diversity is important to some of you, and you may prefer a BBC (Big Black Cock). However, we only have a limited number of black U.S. Marines on staff. Be assured, however, that the cocks of many white bros here are as big, if not bigger, than those of our darker green very fine United States Marines.

9. Due to high demand, we cannot guarantee that you will be able to suck a Nordic dick. Dick provided may therefore be American, Australian, or even Canadian.

10. The lovely cock you suck may be uncircumcised. As you so vehemently oppose excision, we are quite confident that you equally oppose the sexual mutilation of men (or worse, defenseless babies).

11. Our amazing seeds cannot be regurgitated and inserted in your vagina for the purpose of attempting to become pregnant. We understand that the prospect of one of us paying child support so you are set up for life is extremely exciting (get a hold of yourself), but it is not an option with this promotion.

12. We know that no means no, but yes may mean no, or that you can change your mind 30 years from now. As a result, before you experience the privilege of getting on your knees in front of one of us, you must fill out the Sexual Consent Form, and have it notarized by a lawyer or notary public, in the presence of a witness of your choice.

13. No need to thank us for our support of International Women Day. We are delighted to help however we can.

Ready to get a load? Contact us!